Brian Morris' Blog

I just want to take this post to seriously apologize to everyone! These past few weeks, I have just been so caught up in the new decade and PASSION and PROJECT: BOOKSHINDIG that I have forgotten the meaning of this holiday season. No, I am not talking about Christmas, but I AM talking about National Bath Safety Month! When I was talking about books and all the things going on in life recently, I should have been taking the time to talk about bath safety. Bath tubs and showers are DANGEROUS DANGEROUS places, people! So dangerous that January has been dubbed 'Bath Safety Month'... not by me, but by several Family and Protective Services.

With that in mind, I want to dedicate this entire post to the real reason of this month. First, I would like to start with suggesting a few things that may make this holiday period even more festive and celebratory. So here is Brian's approved tips to help you get through this hectic season:

TIP #1. If you would consider yourself to be ... well, let's say ... elderly or with having joint or lower limb pain, installing a safety rail to your tub or shower will make it all the more easy to enter and exit the shower and/or tub in a safe manner.
TIP#2. Take showers and baths in room temperature water. I can remember so many times that I have I heard of severe burn patients who were scarred by the boiling water of a bath or the numerous people who have been injured by hypothermia due to water being dangerously too low. In order to have adequate room temperature water, it may be necessary to let water sit in your tub for at least three days prior to using the water to bathe with. A great rule of thumb I have heard is that the more bugs residing in the water, the better bathing water it is. So just keep that in mind, very important.
TIP#3. Have a nice bulky, corded phone hanging in your shower. Many injuries are caused from people in the shower hearing the phone ring, and of course your instant reaction is to either answer it or to check caller ID to deem whether or not it is even worth answering. The dangerous part comes when the showering person leaves the shower and steps on the slick, smooth, glossy, just-polished, tiled floor and WHAM! Head makes firm contact with hard floor. Instantly knocked out, naked on the bathroom floor. What to do? Well, you surely can't answer the phone now. So the only reasonable solution is to bring the phone to the shower. Duhh.. So just contact your local electrician and have them install an electric outlet and phone jack right inside of your shower. For legal and so-called 'safety' purposes, they are going to try and talk you into installing these outlets right outside of the shower; But this part is key, You are to then slip them a few hundred dollar bills and tell them in a firm and threatening voice, that it is essential they give you the outlet INSIDE of the shower. (REMEMBER, WHAM, KNOCKED OUT... we don't want that, do we?) And then next time the phone rings, don't die trying to get to the phone, die answering the phone. AH. I MEAN, well.. I am sure you know what I mean.
TIP#4. GIFTS! Many will say gifts are reserved only for Birthdays and Christmas, well, this is a bunch of rubbish. It is TRADITION to give nice-sized and amble gifts during this holiday season. Such things as say... a new plunger or a handheld shower faucet. Or for your closer friends, a new toilet would be a reasonably appropriate gift. (Also, don't forget that the gift wrapping medium of choice is a shower curtain. So make sure to have plenty of nice subtly-designed and gender mutual shower curtains to gift wrap all of these great gifts.)

So, now that I have shared a few of the secrets that help me cope through this stressful season, what are some tips that help you get through January - the National Bath Safety Month? Let us know, comment!